Scared to speak too soon

but I think at 10 weeks 3 days, my morning sickness has subsided for the most part. Since last Saturday I noticed that I haven't been vomiting every single morning. I still feel nausea, but it's tolerable for the most part. I still have fatigue, that has gotten a little better, excess salivation, and sore sore boobs. I can deal with that though. Also, I have noticed that I have had a killer attitude since I've become pregnant, and especially the past few weeks. My coworkers are saying they like the new me. I guess it's because I've just basically been saying what's on my mind, and I don't hold myself back from letting people have it. People piss me off when they come up to me and say something dumb, especially on my days when I feel like a freight train hit me. I know it's my hormones. I also know it's the fact that I am carrying a child and for the most part not much else matters. I no longer care what people think about trivial things. I don't consider people's thoughts on what I have to say. I know that sounds mean, but that's where I am with my thinking at this point. I just have limited time and patience with nonsense.

I've also been listening to the baby's heartbeat with my doppler pretty much everyday. I just get nervous when I check in with my due date club on Justmommies.com and read all the horror stories of different women from the club losing their babies. It seems like everyday that I check in on there, someone else has miscarried. They're dropping like flies. Reading the stories invokes such emotions! Initially I feel shock. Then I feel sadness. Then I feel worried with feelings of desperation. Then in the end I feel a certain amount of relief and happiness that I can hold on to Squishy if even for one more day. Eventually I feel guilt for feeling that way. It's just all so confusing.
Oh if I could go through this thing with blinders on and just enjoy my time with freedom from doubt and worry! The only thing I can do is say a prayer for our child and hope that everything is ok.
Yesterday was my 29th. Tim treated me to prenatal pampering at Daired's spa. I had a pedicure, full body massage, and lunch at the spa. It was a truly wonderful and relaxing experience. It felt so good to be pampered in a relaxing environment. I love my husband!