4 Months

I haven't blogged in forever! I fully intended to do so, but there always seems like there is something else I should or could be doing...imagine that!

School is going well, and even better since this semester is almost over. I did really well. It's nice to have something in my life that doesn't have anything to do with babies.

Layla is doing great. She's still sleeping through the night from 8:30-7:30am, and I can tell you, it made me see motherhood in a whole new light. I've always loved my baby and loved being a mother, but when you are rest broken, you can get too caught up in the "maintenance" part of being a mother. Now that I'm well rested and the sleep deprived fog has been lifted from my brain, I can really really enjoy my child in a way that I couldn't at first.

She had her four month appointment and vaccinations last week. She is 25 inches, and a whopping 13 lbs 11 oz! She is in the 50th percentile for both height and weight. Not bad considering she was 4 lbs 10 oz at birth. She has already tripled her birth weight and the pedi is so happy with that. She is moving along on track developmentally and her pedi is not using any special preemie considerations or charts for her. Her pedi says she is a normal 4 month old in all respects. That made me very happy needless to say.

She has developed quite a few new skills since I last blogged. She can sit unassisted for a few seconds. She's still very wobbly, but she knows to put her hands in front of her between her legs to support herself. She babbles, squeals, laughs boisterously at the smallest thing.....she's basically an...er.....pretty noisy baby. She loves to stand and is giving my arms a workout by forcing me to hold her in a standing position for minutes on end. I was tempted to run down and get an exercauser or jumperoo right away, but decided to wait to see what she gets as gifts for her first Christmas.

We also started her on rice cereal last weekend because we got the go ahead from the pedi. As expected, she LOVED it. She is such a piggy. The only problem is that she is used to the immediate gratification of sucking all of her meals, so she gets frustrated because we can't seem to spoon it up for her fast enough.

She also does the cutest thing. She discovered her hands in a new way at 4 months old. She makes them into fists, as if she has something tasty inside of them. Then she stares at them back and forth all day. Then she turns them ever so slowly, as if looking for the most savory part, and takes a few nibbles at it. When she gets tired of tasting that one, she goes to the next one to see what that one tastes like.

Here is a 4 month photo! She'll have professional ones done in January when she can behave, as Tim calls it. :-)

Brief Update

It occurred to me that I haven't blogged in a while. I think that is due in part to me suffering from tennis elbow. I've had it mildly before in the past, but what I have now can be described as the equivalent to submerging your arm in a bucket of fire. Some days its hard for me to even clench my fist. I think toting Layla's carrier around has accentuated the condition. She's 11 lbs now, and there is no telling how much the carrier weighs.


The little piggy is doing great! She's sleeping 10 straight hours at night, and takes two naps during the day. She is so alert and observant of everything when she's not napping and is quick to flash a goofy smile when she's happy. She loves riding in the truck and going out and about.

Speaking of which, I almost turned into Chun Li today at the Dollar Tree. Some well intending grandma came over gushing about how pretty Layla was in her dress and proceeded to rub her cheek. I assumed a karate stance to deliver a kung pao blow that would instantly disconnect her feeble hands from my child's cheek...in my mind .
In real life I smiled and scrambled away from her as fast as I could manage.

Hello....uh......H1N1?
Eczema flare up?

We're going to go shopping for a Halloween costume tomorrow. I'm bringing my sister as protection against the grandmas that may be lurking on every corner.

I'll post pics of the costume soon!

Layla pooped in her tub again last night. How did I feel about that? See above expression. I didn't think lightening could strike twice in the same place, but I was wrong. This time around I was able to keep my composure. Well sort of. I snatched her out of the tub and bolted for the nursery to put a diaper on her before she ruined everything. Too late of course. Of course now I am trying to mastermind a plan to prevent this from ever happening to us again. At the rate she's going, we'll need another baby tub by the time she's six months. Seriously, when it happened last night I debated on hauling the whole tub out to the garage to add it to today's garbage pick up. I changed my mind seeing as how they pick up enough poop with all the diapers I have for them each Monday and Thursday.

About an hour ago I put Layla on the couch so I could run to the kitchen to get her another ounce of milk. I put her on her back and left for less than a minute. When I got back she was on her tummy. How did I feel about that? See above expression. She had an arm trapped under her, but she was fine. I would like an explanation as to how she has become so mobile in such a short period of time. Tim doesn't know yet because he was sleeping when it happened. I don't think he'll be as shocked as I am though since he's constantly referring to the mounds of baby fat on her arms as muscles.

Each night since the first night she did it, Layla has been sleeping for 5-6 hour stretches at night. How do I feel about that? See above expression. You would think that with all those hours of consecutive sleep added to her repertoire, I would take advantage and run for the bed as soon as she's down. I don't. I watch t.v. I blog. I browse. I take a long shower. It's wonderful.

She's growing up!

Three nights ago I was awaken by the feeling that I was over sleeping for something. I looked at the clock and the bright red numbers read 2:35. I laid there and let the digits sink into my sleep fogged mind. 2:35? How could it be 2:35? I had put Layla to bed at 10 pm after a fussy 2 hours and hadn't been up to tend to her since. Had she cried and I not heard? Had Tim gone to take care of her and I didn't notice? That couldn't be possible because I'm a light sleeper and hear everything. I looked at the monitor and didn't hear or see anything. I tore the sheet off of me and bolted for the nursery. I put my face close to hers and immediately heard the reassuring sighs and baby grunts.

She was asleep.

She had slept 4 hours and 35 minutes and did not call for me once. I replayed the night's events over and over to make sure my timing wasn't off. I reached the same conclusions and calculations over and over again. It was really 4 hours and 35 minutes.

I sat down in the glider to contemplate what to do. Was it possible she was sick? Do I wake her up and feed her? Take her temperature? Say hello?

Ten minutes later I decided to leave her be and go back to bed.
She finallly woke up to eat 15 minutes later , yielding a grand total of 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Wow!

My life for the past 8 weeks has been segmented into three hour blocks. Since the time she was born she was waking every three hours from the start of the last feeding, and now she is able to do five in a row!

She's growing up.

I've also had to start the inevitable task of packing away clothes that she has outgrown.

Time has wings.

From the beginning....

Make a Smilebox slideshow

The Horror!

Yesterday we made it through our first appointment without daddy. I made an appointment for Layla on Wednesday for Thursday afternoon because she was exhibiting some signs of re.flux. She had been gagging, becoming agitated at the end of feeds, and spitting up a little bit more than usual. I consulted Dr. Google first, and Dr. Google said that it may be re.flux so I called the nurse after hours and had her set us up for an appointment.

More on that later, but first I’d like to record what happened before the dr’s appointment.
I got dressed first, then woke Layla up for her bath. While I was getting ready my sister called me so I chatted with her while getting prepared. I put the baby in the tub and started to bathe her. I diverted my eyes for a millisecond to put more soap on her washcloth.

Nothing on God’s green earth could’ve prepared me for the horror I was about to witness. My heart dropped into my stomach. I stifled inappropriate language—I’m a mommy you know—so consequently what escaped from my mouth was a strangled scream. My sister yells, “What happened? What’s going on??!”

I tried to focus and my mind started to process the scene before me.

She had pooped in the tub.

I could not articulate to my sister what had happened fast enough I guess, so she proceeded to ask over and over what happened.

Layla starts to wail, as if the poop fairy had snuck into her restroom and flung a tablespoon of poop into her bath water just to sabotage her day.

I explained to my sister what happened, and explained to Layla that she had done it; it was her poop.

I didn’t know what to do. My sister calmly explained the steps I should take to make things right, then we hung up so I could get to work. Over the next 10 minutes I was in a swirl of diapers, baby wipes, Clorox wipes, and plenty of hot water.
By the end of it all I was covered in either bath water or sweat. I couldn’t tell which was which.

I was so afraid we would be late to our appointment. I HATE being late, especially for appointments.
*Mommy lesson numero uno. Babies are not like regular people. NEVER bathe a baby right before leaving the house. See, I’m pretty obsessive and I know it takes 7 minutes for Layla’s bath, and 9 minutes for a bath+shampoo. I only allowed that amount of time, which was silly of me in hindsight.
All in all the day was salvaged.

Here she is at happier times.

She likes to try to catch the water in her mouth when I use her "shower" on her. He he!

Ok, so back to the dr’s appointment. Dr. Wal.lace listened to my concerns, examined the baby, and determined that she did have some early signs of re.flux, but there really isn’t much we should do just yet. We have to wait until her symptoms are more significant.
She also said that she has a little bit of baby acne, which most babies get and will clear up in a few weeks on its own, and a little bit of ecz.ema on her chin. I was horrified when she said ecz.ema. I had already suspected that’s what was on her chin because I had a 30 minute consultation with Dr. Google a few nights ago, but I was hoping for better news. My nephew had it bad and it made him miserable. He was constantly scratching, and it ruined the color and texture of his skin. It doesn’t always get that bad, so I’m hoping it stays localized on her chin and then goes away. Dr. Wall.ace says to keep it dry and put Vaseline on it.

We’ll just have to wait and see.
The waiting. The horrible waiting.
Anyway, she put on another lb of baby fat in about a week. She is currently 9lbs!

Mommy

Next week Layla and I will go visit a real school. We are visiting my old school and coworkers after our dr's appointment.

Layla and I do "school" every day. We have circle time. We read books. We do songs. We play games. We do tummy time.
We are a classroom of two.
Tim says, "Rae, isn't it a little too early for school?"
I say, " A little."
He says, "Hmmm. You miss teaching."
I say, "Hmmm."
It's official. I miss work. I think about work and my thoughts are nostalgic. I miss my school, my coworkers, my kids, my classroom.
I miss being a person responsible for instilling education, values, and love for life in a child times twenty. I miss being involved, intertwined, mingled.

But.

I look into the eyes of my daughter and I know that I am instilling education, values, and love for life in a child. She smiles, and I know that I am loved -- times twenty.

We are important to each other. We give each other meaning; life.

In the words of a woman from my due date club, "At the end of life, no one ever wishes they had worked more."

Nor will I.

Insightful.

Daddy

Layla Grace is a very lucky girl.
If only I were so lucky (insert wistful sigh here).

She loves her daddy, and he loves her. It makes me love her daddy even more when I see what a wonderful bond the two of them have together.

I love watching them play. I love how he encourages her during "tummy time".
I love how she wakes from her nap, however short it may be, when he comes home from work and hears his voice. She trades her normal kitten cry for a shriller cry that says, "You're home! Come pick me up!"?
I love how he picks her up during those cries each day and asks her loudly, "What IS your major malfunction?!"
And in a sleepy voice at 2am on the monitor I hear, "What...is yer...major.....malfunction?"

(A quote from some army movie. I liked the movie, but I can't remember the title)

I can only imagine what her response will be to him when she's two years old and he has to discipline her. I have a feeling that, in her toddler voice, she'll be quoting that same army movie.

5 Weeks

Layla got the second in her series of hep b vaccinations. I had been worried and agonizing about it all night.

I knew it would hurt.

I knew she would cry.

What I knew was right.



She cried and it broke my heart. I stood there with a phony grin plastered to my face. The alternative would not have been appropriate in a dr's office for children.



She is resting peacefully now. All 8 lbs 1/2 ounce of her.

Triple Chin Chica

I forgot to report that Ms. Layla Grace is now 7 lbs, according to the nurse at her one month visit last Friday. That 7 lbs comes complete with a triple chin, two fat creases per chubby little arm, and gloriously chunky thighs. I love it all.

The dr was very pleased with her weight gain of nearly 2 lbs in 2 weeks.

She was looking so chunky this morning, and I tried to capture the chunk with a picture from my phone.

She is constantly changing! It seems she looks different nearly every day. I am so glad that I am here and home to see it all unfold!

The Great Foot Escape

I have never liked hot feet. I loathe socks, and will only wear them if it's ten below zero. Someone who didn't know me personally would be shocked if they visited me while I was asleep because they would find me fully covered with a blanket or sheet from shoulders to ankles. Yes, ankles. I have gotten used to being teased by family members from time to time. I never thought much about it, but I did figure it to be a weird and uncommon trait to have.

Imagine my surprise when I finally put two and two together and figured out why I was having such a hard time keeping Layla's feet and legs covered. I would swaddle her, or cover her with a blanket while she slept, only to find 2-3 minutes later that her feet, and only her feet, had escaped and broken free. I would methodically cover her feet again and again only to pass by her crib or pack-n-play moments later to witness blanket free feet.
Finally, I decided to stand and watch to see how The Great Foot Escape occurs. I covered her up and watched. She started by kicking one foot until it was free from the blanket, and then repeated the process with the other foot, all the while grunting as if in distress. I laughed out loud when she was done.
It finally dawned on me that she hates hot feet!
Some how, some way, that quirk of mine got woven into the strands of her DNA.
It's exciting to meet someone else who can feel my pain.
I only have to wait, oh, five years or so to discuss this with her.
I'll wait.

3 weeks

I can't believe how time is flying! Layla is already 3 1/2 weeks old. I sat and thought, was that really almost a month ago when I went through the most eventful afternoon of my life? Hard to believe, but the child is the proof. She has gotten so big. At her two week appointment she was 5 lbs 4 oz. She goes back for a weight check this Friday. I'm thinking she's probably 6 1/2 lbs by now. Her face,thighs, and belly have gotten so round and chunky!

I took these pictures this morning after she forgave me for putting on her headband. She HATES headbands.

Here she is expressing her obvious distaste for her headband.

Calmer now... A pose and a quick "maybe smile".

Winding down with her soothie...

Catching up on some z's...

Last night was her first all nighter in her crib. I didn't expect to put her in there so soon, but I decided to try it since Tim went back to work today and we wouldn't have anyone to move the pack-n-play from our bedroom to the family room. I had decided there was no way I was going to break that thing down and move it downstairs in the morning, and upstairs in the evening.

It went well for both of us. Our monitor works great. So great that I can hear every breath and every whimper. I think once we both get completely used to it, we will have even better sleep at night.

Here is the final picture of the nursery. Last time I posted, the crib was still en route to us. Tim got it all put together and set up a week and a half ago.

That's all for now folks! Duty calls!

Not smiles after all

2 am feeding finished, my eyes are heavy with lack of sleep. I look at Layla, wondering when her eyes will grow as heavy as mine. I yawn and glance at the clock wondering when I will be able to return to sleep. She looks at me innocently. Her eyes squint. The left side of her top lip lifts into what Tim and I have dubbed "The Elvis Smile". The other corner lifts to create what looks like a full smile. My heart melts and I laugh. I think of bragging and setting the pedi straight at the next appointment that babies this young CAN smile.
An explosive sound fills the room. The sound startles me, but she is unaffected. She grunts and closes her eyes, entering into a deep sleep.

She has just pooped.
She refuses to sleep until she has pooped. Everyday. Each nap. Each night.

In the movies you often see parents of newborns joking with each other about whose turn it is to change the poopy diaper. Not us. There is no need. We have come to the conclusion that if there is a diaper, and if that diaper is attached to our child, there is a 96% chance that pulling the diaper's elastic edge to the side will reveal that it is in fact a poopy diaper. So you see, we each get more than a fair shot at changing a dirty diaper.
I am still puzzled and in awe that someone that small could produce so much waste. I told Tim that we should double bag the diaper trash bags. He asked why, and I told him that I had a dream the other night that made me a little edgy. My dream was that when the garbage collector tried to hoist the bags into the back of the truck, one of the bags broke free and tumbled out into the street. The impact broke the bag open and revealed our terrible, terrible secret that we are excessive landfill contributors.
When the garbage truck came yesterday, I watched inconspicuously from behind the blinds, heart racing, to see if my nightmare would come true. It seemed that it took him forever, but after ten seconds or so I was able to breathe a sigh of relief. Secret safe for now.
I'm not sure how many diapers she's used since coming home last Saturday, but I can tell you that if we wanted to build a clubhouse out of cheap materials, we have plenty on hand.

:-) :-)

Ticking Along

Layla is doing great so far! She has graduated to all bottle feeds, and is doing well with that. Since it takes a lot of work and effort to feed from a bottle all day, we are finding that she is sleeping more and taking longer to finish her bottles. Her nurses say that this is normal.
When we go for tonight's visit, we will bring her car seat! I've been waiting on the day they asked us to bring the car seat because that means she is going home soon if all continues to progress at the same rate. With premature babies they test to make sure the baby will be ok in a car seat for the ride home. They will put her in the car seat and hook her up to a monitor to make sure her breathing and heart rate stay normal.
After she passes that test Tim and I will have to come and "room in". They will put us in a post partum room with her alone for the night to make sure that we are able to care for her unassisted. The nurse said we can expect to do that Saturday or Sunday. Then guess what? The next morning she's allowed to go home!!!!
We are praying she continues to eat well so we can have her home by Monday. I'll update as soon as we get the green light.

Birth Story

Can't believe that I'm writing a birth story in July, but I am. Layla Grace decided to make her grand entrance at 3:32 p.m on July 24th, 6 1/2 weeks early.


Here is a very detailed account of what happened.

Part I :)

Thursday, I took a shower and went to bed as normal around 10-11. Nothing out of the ordinary. I slept just fine. I took my two potty breaks as normal. My last one was around 3 am.

6:20 am- I was awaken by sharp pains in my lower stomach. I went to the restroom and had loose stool. I figured that must be the culprit. I felt a little better after the bowel movement, so I laid back down to go to sleep. Sleep didn't find me. For the next 30 minutes pain shot through my lower stomach. I laid on my left side..no relief. I laid on my right side...no relief. I got on my hands and knees...no relief. I figured it was some type of infection, bladder or urinary tract. I briefly wondered if these were contractions I was feeling, but I shrugged it off because it didn't feel anything like the way it was described to me by other people or in our child birth class. There was no pain that radiated from my back to my stomach. There was no squeezing feeling. But I noticed the pains came with relief. I would feel pain, then the pain would go away. I got a little nervous because it was then that I realized the pains had a pattern. I timed them and it was EXACTLY 5 minutes from the time I had one pain, to the onset of another. I texted Tim, who was already at work, to inform him that I was dying. He asked me did I want to go to the hospital. I told him my paperwork from the dr said to wait an hour if you think you are having contractions 5 minutes apart, and that I would get into the shower to see if that made my stomach feel better.

I'll tell you what, now I see why they say water is natures epidural. The water made my stomach feel a lot better. The pain was still there, but they were more bearable. As soon as I turned the shower off, the pain was back at the intensity it was before I got into the shower.

I texted Tim again and told him to come home and take me to the hospital.

It was before 8 am, and I didn't want to wait for my dr to call me back, so I called labor and delivery and spoke with a nurse. She told me I was probably dehydrated, but to come in to be monitored.

8:15 am- We pull up at the hospital after about 6 minutes, but it seemed like it was a 30 minute ride full of bumps and turns. The pain is still hitting me hard. Tim asked me did I want him to pull up front so he could let me out. I told him I wasn't made of cake and was perfectly capable of walking to the entrance from the parking lot.

8:30 am- I'm dressed in a hospital gown and lying in a bed in the prenatal testing room. They had already had me give them a urine sample and they hooked me up to the fetal monitors. The nurse did an internal exam to check my cervix. She couldn't find it and told me that was a good sign that it was still really high and closed. The nurse informed me she was calling my dr to see how to proceed. I went somewhere in my mind to deal with the pain for the time being.

9:30 am- Relief finally came. The nurse told me this was the plan in this order: 1.IV for fluids in case I was dehydrated. 2.Terbutaline to stop the contractions. (I didn't even know I was having contractions at that point because the nurse kept calling them pains...not contractions)3.Fetal fibronectin test to see if birth was imminent in the next few weeks. 4.Another internal exam. The dr said to find my cervix by any means necessary. 5. A sono to check cervical length.6. A shot of betamethasone to develop the baby's lungs in case she did decide to come. 7.Some pain medicine, not sure of the name now, but it was something that sounded excellent at the time.

After she gave me the terbutaline, I finally felt coherent enough to speak and ask questions. The contractions were still there, but the shot made them bearable.

The nurse inserted the q-tip for the fetal fibronectin test, and all hell broke loose when she took it out. It was bright red and covered with blood. She asked me was I sure I hadn't had any bleeding. I told her I was absolutely sure. She set the q-tip to the side and did the internal exam. She looked puzzled. She went and got another nurse, and she repeated the internal exam. They closed the curtain and we could hear them whispering. I thought, great, they're about to tell me I'm dilating.

They came back and said, honey you're dilated to 8-9. You're having your baby today. I told them they must be wrong, and that's when she explained that she second guessed herself and that's why she had another nurse repeat the exam. She said I didn't fit the profile of a woman in active labor because I was so calm. She told me earlier when she couldn't find my cervix, it wasn't because it was high and closed, it was because it was gaping open. She said they would confirm it with the sonogram.

10:00 am- The sonographer came in and did the sonogram. Within seconds of putting the probe on my stomach she pipes up and told the nurses, yep! you guys were right. 8 centimeters. Now I didn't go to sonography school, but as soon as I looked at the screen I saw a perfect, wide open circle, and I knew that was my cervix on the screen. I began to believe.

10:15am -They whisked me away to a labor and delivery room. By this time I'm completely and utterly horrifed. This was not going the way I had planned. I was only 33 1/2 weeks. My pedicure wasn't done. I hadn't shaved. My bag wasn't packed. This could not be happening. Except it was.

Part II :)

10:20am- My room was filled with people. Two labor and delivery nurses, the "angel"stesiologist for the epi, 4 NICU staff members, and my dr who came running up the stairs out of breath. Everything was happening at once. If you don't get anything else from this part, please understand how simultaneous everything was. Tim and one nurse held me in position for the epi. Another nurse was pumping penicillin through my IV on the highest setting because time was such a factor(ouch!). I hadn't been tested yet for group beta strep, so they gave me penicillin just in case. Someone else from somewhere jabbed a needle in my thigh to give me the betamethasone for the baby's lungs. My dr was asking me questions. All of this, and I had to be perfectly still for the epi.

10:30am- Epi in place, my dr cleared out the room for the time being once she found my bag of waters to still be intact. 9 centimeters. She didn't want to rupture the bag just yet to give my body time to absorb the betamethasone and penicillin. She told me if I was still pregnant by 2:30, she could rupture the bag and I would deliver. She needed at least 4 hours for the medications to work.

10:30am-2:30pm- Some how I stayed pregnant. I prayed and relaxed. Ate some ice chips and a Popsicle. Experienced amazement on how my skin could itch, but I couldn't feel it when I scratched. Marveled at how I could feel the urinary catheter being placed, but not feel any pain. Talked to my sisters who had made it up there. Made a list of things I would need, and sent Tim home to get them.

245 pm- Dr broke my water. Clear fluid. Pushed my leg back and told me to push. I pushed. When I did, she told me the baby came way down. She had the nurse alert NICU because she said things would move fast.

3:00pm- My bed was raised as high as it could go, and my legs were in stirrups. I could hear The Cosby Show coming on, and somewhere in the distance the shouts of "push" filled the room. I remember thinking, who are all these people? Don't get me wrong, modesty was out of the window, but I never figured so many people would be needed for a delivery. I pushed and pushed. Tim had one leg, and a nurse had the other. The nurse told me to relax my legs, hold on to the back of them, and push. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. I didn't think it would work, but it finally did. I visualized forceps, and I pushed as hard as I could.

3:32pm- Cries filled the room. Layla Grace was born. 4 lbs, 10 oz, 17 1/2 inches long. Tim cut the cord, but the dr handed her directly to the NICU team. All I could do was cry and stare. She looked so perfect and precious and I could not believe that she had just come from my body. I remembered when she was just a flicker on an ultrasound screen with a steady bump for a heartbeat, and now she was here. I was completely humbled at God's work.

The placenta was delivered shortly after. No tears and the dr said I should heal nicely.

We were able to hold her for a short time before she went to NICU. Definitely a precious moment.

I am so happy to say that she's doing well. It was hard leaving her at the hospital yesterday, but we know that's the best place for her right now until she learns how to bottle feed. Hopefully our little ladybug will be home soon.

P.S Thanks for all the well wishes! If I don't return your call, text, or email right way, you know where I am! :)

33 Weeks

Nursery pics. Work in progress. We are 75% finished. We just need the crib and need to hang up her name above her crib and a few more decorations. Almost there!

32 Week Appointment

Today I had my appointment. I fully went in expecting it to be in and out as it has been for the past 2 months.
Blood pressure and urine sample normal. I gained 1 pound. That's up only 1 lb in the past 4 weeks for a grand total of 12 lbs.
The dr comes in and she tells me I'm doing great with my weight gain by keeping it under 20 lbs, however, she wants to do an u/s to make sure the baby is gaining and doing well.
That got me scared. She takes me to the u/s room and the sonographer is in there with another patient. I had to wait in the area outside the u/s room. Waiting there alone made me worry more and more, and soon my worry spiraled out of control.
15 minutes later I'm in the chair for the u/s. The first thing I saw was that the baby was so still. You already know what I thought, this is in spite of the fact that I had just heard the baby's heart rate by doppler with the dr. Irrational fears.
Anyway, she did some measurements and said everything looked great. The baby is 4 lbs 5 oz and she is measuring in the 43rd percentile. I asked what that meant, and she said on average babies measure at the 50th percentile and anything above that means the baby is on the larger side, and anything below that means the baby is on the smaller side.
I am glad she's doing fine, but of course I'm disturbed that she didn't quite make the grade. Maybe it's the teacher in me, but I sure wished she had said the baby was measuring in the 51st percentile at least.

*sigh*

I'm trying not to think about it.
I'm trying to figure out how to get another u/s.
I'm trying to behave as a civil, rational expectant mother.

Tales of the Mall Fiasco

My mall days are over too....at least for a while. I was bored yesterday and decided to go to the mall by myself. It all started off ok. I shopped for a bit in Macy's, then left there in search of Gymboree. Well I ended up walking from one end of the mall to the other searching for Gymboree which of course is too far for me. I felt terrible. I felt like a big, fat, wheezing elephant who was about to be put down for sore joints and bad hips. I ended up parking on a bench by the ice skating rink for about 15 minutes. Two teenagers walked smoothly, and effortlessly by me, chatting then laughing amongst themselves. I found myself wondering if they were laughing at the sight that I was.
That gave me enough strength and courage to make it back towards Macy's where I parked. On my walk back, I FINALLY found Gymboree. It was close enough to Macy's. I just didn't see it because it was downstairs on the side I was initially walking on. Anyway, I get there still feeling whoozy and couldn't find one thing that I wanted. I don't think anyone could...unless of course you wanted to buy overpriced dresses with matching socks. Baby already has tons of dresses. So I left there disappointed and started towards Macy's again. By this time everything on my body was aching. I decided I needed a sugar and caffeine rush to make me feel better. I limped towards Macy's, glancing casually at the different drink stands. Nothing there at any of the drink stands was under 3.50, and I wasn't prepared to make that type of commitment. Just when I thought I couldn't go any further, the heavens opened and I spotted a pepsi machine. Not my favorite or first choice, but it would work in a pinch. I get there and pay the machine 1.50 and pressed the button that would yield a pepsi. Guess what?





A DIET pepsi came out.





I stood there in disbelief and tears for a full minute before I finally accepted my fate. I looked around to see if there was anyone who could feel my pain or someone who I could vent to. I was alone.


I finally crept to the escalator. I got to my car maybe 15 minutes later. I walked outside, and wouldn't you know the earlier cloud cover had disappeared and the temps had started their upward climb to 102 degrees. I instantly started sweating.


All of that, and the only thing I had to show for it was a 5 pack of side snap shirts from Macy's, a DIET pepsi, and a broken crotch and hip bones.


Tim said that I am now on bed rest.


That's the end of my mall fiasco.





Also, I've gotten huge! Here are my 31 week pictures to prove.



We are BIG girls. To prove just how big she is, she just kicked me in the bladder as hard as she could. You can only imagine what happened next.

31 Weeks or so

My movie days are over. At least for the next 2 1/2 months that is. Tim and I went to the movies to see Transformers II yesterday, and I was in agony. My back, hips, crotch, thighs, knees, and ankles ached the whole time. I couldn't get up and walk around or go to the restroom because the theater was super crowded, and I hate having to squeeze through people. I finally fell into a deep 30 minute nap, but was awakened to the baby twisting and turning in my stomach. I guess the movie got too loud for her or something. We came home and Tim gave me a 30 minute massage to work out the kinks, then we headed to Mansfield to see the fireworks.
All in all it was a good day and my soreness is gone for the most part.

Work in Progress

We're currently hard at work trying to put the nursery together.It's hard work, but fun work.

My job was to put up the painter's tape. I also helped do the measurements for the chair rail Tim installed.

Tim painted.

And painted.
And finally arrived at this!
We still have a lot of work to do, but it's coming along. I'm so proud of daddy! He did such a good job executing my ideas.

Salt and Sugar

So much sadness going on this week with the passing of first, Ed Mcmahon, then Farrah Fawcett, then Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson's passing was definitely a shocker for us. Tim said he thought he would live until he was 90. I can't say that's what I thought, but I never thought about him passing too. Sad. We've been watching all of his old videos on BET and MTV for a few hours.
In the wake of all this tragedy, it does bring me joy to show off our little girl! We went for a 3D/4D u/s today at 930. All morning I had been nervous that a) she would be a boy, or b) she wouldn't cooperate. Although there would be nothing we could do if she sprouted a penis, I tried my best to be proactive in getting her to cooperate and not hide her face. I wanted her to put on a show. When the tech put the probe on my belly, we automatically saw that she had her arm over her face. I said, "Oh no!" The tech jiggled my belly a little, and she moved her arm. We got some good pictures and decent footage, but I had to do some moving around to get her to cooperate fully. We watched her yawn, open and close her mouth, stick out her tongue, and grab her cord to try to get it in her mouth. I may be biased but this kid is cute! So cute!

After about 15 minutes she put her little hand up, as if to say, "that's all folks" and turned around to face my back. It was cute, but that concluded our u/s. I thought it was a bit pricey at $165, but it was well worth it. It was such a good bonding experience and such a miracle to be able to see our daughter in action. We got 14 pictures, a dvd of the footage, and a cd with pictures on it.

This is my favorite pic. Look at those chunky cheeks!

This one was funny. For one thing she looks like she's smiling. She was also tickling or scratching her foot against her head.

We're in love!

28 Weeks

We started our prepared childbirth classes last week at 27 weeks. Every Thursday night from 630-900 for 5 weeks. It's a great class. Very relaxed and very informative. We went to the second class yesterday and learned our first breathing technique. It was great. We got out the floor mats, the instructor dimmed the lights, and then took us through some relaxation techniques. She followed that up with the breathing technique. So far I think I'm a pro at at it.
Well I got the official results of my glucose tolerance at today's 28 week appointment. Everything came back great at 125. Although I have known for at least a week now that I passed, I was relieved to hear it come out of her mouth.
Everything else was normal. Heart rate 156. Gained, er, two pounds. Dr was happy with that though. She also recommended a pedi for us. I was relieved because I had been stressing about finding one for a month. Seems like the few recommendations I have gotten from coworkers and family just won't work for me for one reason or another. Plus, seems like word of mouth doesn't work for me. I end up getting screwed when I rely on someone else's recommendation.
We got the nursery painted this afternoon! So far I am pleased with the shade of pink we chose. I'll know for sure how I feel about it in the morning once everything dries. Updates coming soon!

Awwww! A car seat!

Who knew we would be so excited over a car seat and stroller? Well last Sunday, Tim and I went to BRU and bought our travel system. We bought the Graco Snugride-Jewel.

Here is the proud papa tinkering away. He tore open all the boxes as soon as we got home and put everything together and registered it.

In other news, I guess I passed my GTT. At my dr's office they only call you if you have a bad result. I haven't heard from them yet. I'm hoping that means all is well. I'll know for sure in a little while at my next appointment.

Glucose Tolerance Test

Today I went in for my 26 week appointment and glucose tolerance test. The appointment was simple of course. Weighed, urinalysis, talked about concerns. I told the nurse that I was concerned that I may have a bladder and/or urinary tract infection because I get these intense urges to urinate like my bladder is about to explode, yet when I get on the toilet a lot of the times only a few dribbles will come out. She told me that I didn't have an infection and it's more than likely the way the baby is positioned in the uterus. I guess our little girl likes to squish my bladder because this feeling is ongoing and throughout the day.
Weight gain, or lack thereof. I only gained 1lb! I was very happy. I'm praying that baby continues to grow and develop normally but my weight gain has come to a halt.
Blood pressure normal.
Glucose tolerance test., hopefully normal. I drank the glucola relatively quickly. I did feel nausea about 10 minutes later, and I hope that's not an indication of failure. We will find out next week though.

Baby Shower

Today I had my shower at work. They went ahead and did it now since Thursday is the last day of school, Friday is our last work day, and I won't be returning to work next school year. It was fun, and I got some cool stuff.

I got one one of those bebe POD seats for baby. Cute!

About $400 in gift cards from Baby's R Us, Target, and Walmart.

A sleep-n-play with cutie on the front.

A cute little outfit with a baby doll shirt, capris, and bib.

Four onesies with princess, cutie etc on them.

3 pairs of socks. Awwww.

A crocheted blanket and mittens. Love it!

My coworkers did such a good job on the shower. I'm so happy and humbled that they would do something like this for me at one of our busiest times of the year. It was so nice to get gifts for our little girl. I just couldn't stop smiling.

Fiesty mama!

We are having one fiesty little girl.
Through all of my pre-existing fluff I felt her kicking and punching right below my navel this morning. From the outside!
She did it about 8 times. Tim was asleep and missed all the fun.

22 Week Appointment

Everything went great, not much to report. Blood pressure normal, results of the genetic screen normal, and the heartbeat was normal. I gained another 4 lbs since the last visit, which brings us to a total of what I believe to be 16 lbs. Dr. W counts my prepregnancy weight as the weight I was at when I had my 10 week appointment at my old ObGyn, so according to her I'm only up 10 lbs. I think I like her calculations better.
I found out our little girl really does LOATHE the doppler. When Dr. W put the probe on my stomach, she kicked me so hard that I believe it would've been felt from the outside. Too bad I didn't have my hand there to catch it.
I go back in three weeks for my glucose tolerance test. Oh joy.

Yayy for hamburgers!

We just got back from our 20 week anatomy scan. So far, everything looks great. HB still 159. For the past two weeks, I had let my mind wander to the what-ifs. One of them being, what if baby sprouts a penis?? You hear stories all the time about women being told one gender, and going back and finding out something different. Well she is still a she. Clear as day.

Classic "hamburger".

Baby was moving around so much though that the tech had a semi-difficult time getting what she needed. I liked the movement though. It was truly fascinating to see her moving around so much. At one point we saw her open her little mouth wide and yawn. The tech said it was a yawn, I think she was tasting the taquito that I had eaten about an hour earlier. The tech flipped it to 3-D to get us a picture, and we could see her opening and closing her mouth and what looked like her licking her fist.

She likes to eat. Wonder where she gets that appetite from. :)

Tim was amazed, like last time, at the technological advancement of the 3-D u/s. It's so hard for him to interpret the 2-D ones. I think she looks beautiful and so much different than the image we saw at our 18 week u/s. Tim says she still looks scary. Maybe, but it's a process. She's a process.

She's a whopping 11 oz, up 3 oz in two weeks. I am so thankful and grateful that everything is looking good. Who knew I would ever be here? Who knew?? I am finally going to be a mother.

20 Weeks

Halfway there! Though it doesn't seem like it. I'm happy to report everything is going OK so far. Nausea is pretty much non-existent, but I still vomit every once in a while. I figured out that I, or baby, can't tolerate beef too well. If I eat thick cuts of beef it comes right back up. That's fine with me because I have decided that I can't stand steak in any way, shape, or form. I can tolerate hamburger meat, but I swear as long as I live I will never eat a bite of steak. Yuck. It just turns me completely off.
I am also feeling our little girl move every single day. She likes to move and kick when I am lying flat on my back. Although I would like to lay there for hours feeling her move, that's impossible because I don't breathe too well when I'm on my back.
I've been busy registering, shopping for clothes, and fantasizing about what kind of person she will be. I wonder what she will look like, what she will like and dislike, what her temperament will be like. Oh the possibilities.

I just hope and pray that she got the best from each of us.

Here she is!

Here is a profile picture of the girl.

I have 2 3-D ones, but she didn't look nearly as cute as she looks on this one.

The Dr said that happens when 3-D ultrasounds are done so early.

Anyway, just thought I'd update!

Drum Roll Please....

We had our u/s yesterday at 3pm, and found out that we are expecting a beautiful, healthy, baby GIRL!!! I am sooo excited. This is what I was definitely hoping for and what my gut feeling said. I was afraid that we wouldn't be able to find out because she was very modest. The dr tried to get a between the leg shot as soon as she started the u/s, but baby had her legs closed. Finally, toward the end of the u/s she flashed us, opening and closing her little legs. Dr got a few good shots of it and showed us the tell tale signs of a "hamburger". Definitely an exciting day. Due date still the same, and everything else looked great. We celebrated by buying a few things for the baby. We bought a dress, another pack of sleepers, and a hat and bootie set. Here is a picture of the dress we bought yesterday.

And, just to prove how strong my hunch was about the gender, here is a dress, hat, and sweater I bought last month.

Can't wait to meet our pretty little thing!

Baby Journal

Yesterday we bought a baby book from half priced books. I didn't go there with the intention of buying a baby book, and it's not one that I thought we would buy, but when I saw it I knew we had to have it.

It's a baby journal by one of my favorite children's book authors, Eric Carle. He used the illustrations from his book The Very Hungry Caterpillar. All kids love this book, I love this book, and I'm sure baby will too. Maybe it's the kindergarten teacher coming out of me, but I had to have this journal! Can't wait to start writing in it and filling it up with things.

Friday night baby was very active. I was browsing on the computer and all of a sudden I starting feeling movements! They were rapid and it lasted about 10 seconds. Very exciting and almost strange. My first reaction was to look down at my belly and put my hand on my left side where I felt all the kicks. The kicks felt so strong at first I was sure I would be able to feel it from the outside. I couldn't, but that's OK. I was still amazed at the solid kicks baby gave me. I can't wait until this becomes a daily occurrence for me!

3 more days until we see baby. My how time flies!

Strangest Dream Award

Last night I had the strangest dream. I dreamed that I had twin baby girls. They were the tiniest cutest babies I have ever seen. They were so small that they fit in the palm of my hand. I felt completely overwhelmed and thrilled about feeding the babies with tiny bottles. Later on in the dream, I went into the kitchen and my mom was there putting two hard boiled eggs on the kitchen counter. I left to tend to the twins, and then I heard a cry coming from the kitchen. I went into the kitchen and saw that the two hard boiled eggs had cracked, and the cries were coming from inside the eggs! I was shocked. I told my mom, "there are babies in there." She told me she knew that, and started peeling the cracked shells away from the egg. Then she got out a butter knife and started cutting the egg whites away from the egg. I felt so scared in the dream that she would cut one of the babies, but she didn't. She finally freed the babies and I cleaned them up quickly and fed them. I felt so overwhelmed that now I had quads instead of twins. I said, "mom, we need to make some more bottles." Then I woke up. This by far was the strangest pregnancy dream I have ever had. Not only did it seem so real because I was actually feeling emotions, it was just strange! Quads?? Babies inside of eggs? What in the world??

Go Big Girl! Boom!

Ok, I'm excited because I finally look pregnant, and not just like I've been eating too much!
17 week pic below. I feel so much fatter, but I haven't gained any more weight in weeks. Right now, I am up 10 lbs. I am right in range for the amount of weeks I am, and I want to keep it that way. Hopefully my weight gain slows down from here.

9 days til the u/s. I have to say, I'm starting to get nervous! I still can't wait though. I really can't.

Official

I'm for sure I felt the baby move this afternoon! Tim was rubbing my stomach, and I thought I felt something. Of course when he stopped, the feeling was gone. He rubbed again, and then all of a sudden I felt it! In my lower stomach I felt the most wonderful sensation. One that can only make you smile. It felt like a thick bubble bursting in the middle of my stomach. I also compared it to the way it would feel if someone put paint on a paintbrush then splattered it on you purposely, only the paint lands in one general area. I know none of that makes sense. Wouldn't make sense to me either if not for the fact that it happened to me.
My headache is finally gone.
It's Friday.
My baby moves.
Only 12 more days to the sonogram.
I'm feeling good.

Can-Can Dancer

Yesterday I thought I felt the baby move. I'm still not sure if that's what I was feeling or not because it didn't feel the way that other women describe the early movements. I've heard early movement feels like flutters, butterflies, or bubbles. I was lying down on the couch and all of a sudden I felt something that felt like KICKS. 6-8 light pokes . Rapid, light pokes. I pictured the baby doing the can-can and kicking me with both feet one at a time. I guess there really is no telling right now what that was that I felt. Time will tell.

Oh yeah. I've landed in Headache City, and have been here for two straight days. Please don't offer me any Tylenol.

Wait a minute....

Feeling good. Definitely have that second trimester energy boost. I've been feeling like my old self. I've been cleaning, cooking, doing laundry, and doing the things I used to do. I did forcefully vomit twice over a the last three days, but I think it was because I ate too much in one sitting. Lately I haven't been really hungry. Then all of a sudden the hunger will hit me like a bag of bricks. Then I gorge myself on whatever meal it is I'm eating. Then I get sick. Then I vomit. I'm figuring out with pregnancy you can't do things the way you used to. Before, I wouldn't eat if I wasn't hungry. Now I see you have to eat even when you're not hungry to keep a disaster from happening.
Also, I am waiting, hoping, and wishing I can feel the baby move. About an hour ago Tim rubbed my stomach and it felt so good and relaxing. Then wait! I thought I felt something. I told Tim to stop, but when he did I felt nothing at all. I told him to continue, and I felt it again. When he stopped I felt nothing. I pressed the right side of my lower belly and it was tight and hard. Kind of like a 2-inch knot was pressed against my stomach. I don't know. This could all be in my head. I'm just looking forward to the day when I know without a doubt that I felt the baby move. I'm hoping that will be soon.
Wednesday, I had an encounter with the tiniest being I have ever seen in my life. I went to the hospital to see my cousins baby who was born prematurely and is now in the NICU. She is about 3 weeks old and 3lbs, but she is so small. I have never seen anything like it in my life. I got to help give her a bath and wash her hair. It was a very special experience, but also exhausting. She has to be handled with such care and she's so tiny that it makes you tired just giving her a 10 minute bath. It made me wonder what it's going to be like for me in 5 months. I know this is different because the baby is a preemie, but it's still a baby nonetheless.
Overwhelming.
Exciting.
Humbling.

15 weeks

I had my dr's appointment with the nurse practitioner at my new dr's office yesterday. The appointment went GREAT! I think that I will really like this office, and I think baby and I will be well taken care of. The M.A started off by weighing me. No comment. :) Then she told me she was going to draw my blood. I explained that I had already had my OB panel drawn at my last dr's office (5 vials!), and it should be in the medical records they faxed over. Well, she took a look and thankfully they did have the medical records. Well guess what? The old dr's office tested me for everything they were supposed to test for EXCEPT my blood type and hep B. The M.A was dumbfounded. She even had another person double check to be sure she wasn't missing anything. Well anyway, needless to say that is the latest blunder from that terrible dr's office. So she ended up having to draw my blood to get those tests done.
After that I met with the N.P. Super nice and supportive. She went over everything I needed her to. Specific weight gain goals (20 lbs), exercise, nutrition, breast feeding, etc. Then she did my pap and breast exam. I had to hold my breath while she examined my breasts because these boys are still sooooo sore. Later she showed me around the office and showed me the sono room which was very impressive with it's big screen t.v. :)
The last thing I did was get my big u/s scheduled. It's scheduled for 4/8 when I see the dr for my 18 week appointment. They said she will do a "for fun" u/s that they won't charge me for, but then we have to go back 4/10 for an u/s with a tech so they can do the measurements for the baby.
I can't WAIT to find out. I don't know how I will keep my mind off of this u/s that won't happen for another three weeks.
I am really thinking pink. Really. If I am right, we are well set on a name. Can't believe we already have first and middle name all set! I had planned to pick out three names for each gender and then let Tim pick which one he wanted once the baby was born. Well I gave him the choices yesterday, and he is set on one of them already. He actually likes it! REALLY likes it. That amazed me because every time I give him a name he promptly wrinkles his nose and tears it to pieces.
We will keep the name of the baby to ourselves until after the birth certificate is signed. Too many opinions that create doubt, know what I mean? You think you have a name all set that you really love, and then someone comes along and says "(Insert baby name here)? My aunt has a dog named (insert baby name here)!" Or, "I've always hated that name, but if you like it that's all on you."

Uh....Ligaments?

This morning around 3am I woke up with the worst round ligament pain that I have had this pregnancy. It's a weird pain because it's dull and consistent. There is nothing you can do about it either except pray. Good news is that I was so tired that I kind of drifted back to sleep amidst the pain. I think it was caused by me sleeping all night on my stomach. Although I do this nearly every night, maybe this child began to think s/he has had enough and inflicted that pain on me to get me off my stomach. Well it worked. I slept the rest of the night on my sides. Needless to say when I woke up, my hips were sore from sleeping on them for 4 hours. I guess I'm screwed. Can't sleep on my back the experts say. Can't sleep on my stomach the round ligaments say. Can't sleep on my sides the hips say. Who knows?
Tomorrow we go to a "baby show" at the Marriott in Fort Worth. I'm thinking it's like those wedding shows except this will be all baby stuff. They say they will go over new products, safety ratings, recalls, etc. I'm expecting for it to be quite interesting. I'm glad they are having this show before we start buying for baby. It's like it comes at a perfect time. I'm guessing I will be having the "big" u/s in 3-5 weeks. I will know for sure when it is scheduled after I see my new practitioner at my brand new dr's office on Monday. I can't wait. I just want to know if the baby is a girl or boy. I had been thinking boy for several weeks for several reasons, but now I am thinking girl. Unlike the reason I thought it was a boy, I don't have a reason why I think it will be a girl now. I'm getting mixed guesses from everyone else, roughly half on boy, half on girl.
Oh the time crawls when you need to know if you are destined to be the parents of a new baby girl or a new baby boy!

Motrin

I lost the battle.
Yesterday I woke up around 6:45am with a throbbing headache. I took tylenol and waited. Of course it didn't work. I took more tylenol. That didn't work either. Not to say that I am surprised because tylenol does nothing for me. I may as well be popping tic-tacs. Anyway, I tried my water trick. After I stepped down from my 12 year reign as Queen Motrin for fertility purposes, I discovered that sometimes, and I do mean sometimes, if I drink two glasses of water it cures my headache. That didn't work either.
Then I tried massage. Tim massaged my back and neck, and still no relief.
I tried to lie down in a quiet room. No relief.
I finally broke down. I sent Tim to the store around 5:30 to buy a pack of motrin.

I tossed two back with a swig of water and 15 minutes later my headache was gone!

I know I'm not supposed to take them, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
What happens when the pain is gone? Justifications begin. I pointed out to Tim that some women smoke their whole pregnancies. Some women still have a glass of wine daily. Some women eat deli meats freely. Some women still subject their bodies to higher temps than recommended.
I just had a motrin. Two motrin. I feel fine.

___________________________________________

Also, I am scared that my destiny is to be one of the women who say post-pregnancy, "Who me? I was sick my ENTIRE pregnancy!" Although it has gotten better, I have still been vomiting. I vomited three times 2 nights ago after drinking root beer. I don't know what to say. I think I am learning not to have so many expectations throughout this deal. Babies don't know what trimesters are, and they certainly don't respect boundaries and expectations preset for them based on trimesters. *Sigh*

13 Weeks!

Yayy! I'm so excited to finally be in the second trimester, although I won't officially be there until Thusday when I am 13 weeks and 3 days. Anyway, to celebrate we went out and made our first contribution to baby's layette. We bought a 3 pack of sleepers, 4 hats, and a 2 pack of booties. Gender neutral, but so cute. I can't tell you how many times I took the stuff out of the package. Know what I did?

Coordinated different outfits. Yep.

Danced the sleepers around. Yep.

Put my fist into the tiny hats and imagined a baby's head in it. Absolutely.

Laid the sleepers on Tim's chest to see what he would look like with a sleeper clad baby on his chest. Yep. Sure did.

Crazy? Of course.

In love? Don't you know it.